Grace Is Gone (2007)

"Grace is Gone" - yet another film that touches the hearts of many audiences. This is a simple but meaningful film that depicts how a father, after learning the news of his wife's death, struggles to find the right time and the right place to break the sad news to his two beloved daughters, Heidi and Dawn. 

Breaking news of death to the closest family members has never been the easiest thing to do. In fact, it is the hardest and the most heart-breaking experience ever. In this film, Stanley Phillips had to go through the grief of losing his beloved wife, Grace alone for quite some time as he could not bring himself to disclose the news to his two daughters. During his grief alone, he tried very hard to deny himself of Grace's passing. Initially, when he suggested to his daughters that they would visit the Enchanted Garden on a road trip even though it was very far away, it was believed that maybe he needed more time to think of a right way to disclose the news to his daughters and going on a road trip for several days would allow him more time to think before they reached their final destination. Not only that, he could also possibly be using this opportunity to deny the fact that he had lost Grace by temporarily focusing on his daughters and their road trip. Besides, going to Enchanted Garden may be a wonderful idea as his daughters were dying to visit the amusement park. So, maybe that could be a better place to reveal the sad news to them since that place was a familiar and a safe place which brought them happy memories.

Along the road trip, Stanley would constantly call home to hear Grace's voice over the answering machine and every time he would leave a message for her regarding him and the kids. He did this as if Grace has never left and he wanted so much to continue talking to her. Besides that, there were many things that happened during the road trip which Stanley had been doing to remind himself that nothing was changed and everything could still be the same. Before reaching their final destination at the Enchanted Garden, Stanley and the girls had stopped by their grandmother's house, shopping mall and a motel. At the shopping mall, Stanley bought Heidi and Dawn each a pretty dress and he even allowed them to pierce their ears (something which they were not allowed to do until they were 13 years old). This could possibly showed two things: One, Stanley was trying his best to make sure the girls were happy by fulfilling their wishes before breaking their hearts again later when he revealed their mother's death. Two, it could be that Stanley was trying to show his daughters that the three of them could still have fun on their own even without their mother in the future. But yes, Stanley was indeed a great father. Even though he did not tell Heidi and Dawn about their mother immediately, it did not mean that he was being coward or being a mean dad. He just simply did not know how to tell it because he was very much concerned with their feelings. Besides, the incident where Heidi had secretly smoked with a random teenager at the motel also showed that Stanley was a wise dad. Normally when a father sees his daughter smoking as an underage, I would think that he would immediately be very mad at her and could even ground her. But I was surprised at what Stanley did to Heidi instead in the film. It shocked me a little when I watched Stanley bought two boxes of cigarettes to share with Heidi. But later it occurred to me that what he did was actually more educational than simply yelling and grounding a child. By offering Heidi a cigarette directly, it allowed Heidi to learn her mistakes from a familiar and a safe person rather than letting her experiencing it through a stranger or any negative friends in the future. Also, as a teenager, the more she was scolded and yelled at for something she was not supposed to try or do, it would make her even more curious to want to experience the thing. Hence, what Stanley did was actually a great example for every parent out there, even though it could be bizarre for some people (letting your daughter smoke with you?!)

Like I said earlier, Enchanted Garden was an amusement park which both Heidi and Dawn were dying to visit. However, they could not have the chance to visit this place again earlier because both their parents were busy with work and they were also occupied with school as well. However, the thought of bringing the girls back to this place as they wished did not only provide a great opportunity for Stanley to reveal the news to them, it also served as a very meaningful purpose in this film. Due to the fact that Heidi and Dawn still did not know about the passing of their mother, this road trip to Enchanted Garden provided them a chance to experience a ONE LAST TRIP where they could all still be happy and enjoy the world with the mindset that their mother was still alive.

Sybil (1976)

Sybil is a film about a young introverted woman who suffers from a mental disorder called Multiple Personality Disorder or also known as Dissociative Identity Disorder. The root of her suffering and her disorder comes from her abusive childhood (something which she could not remember well now).

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is a mental disorder listed in the DSM-5. However, there are still many psychologists and psychiatrists who tend not to believe that DID is real. In my personal opinion, I want to believe that DID is actually real and it is indeed a very disturbing mental disorder. Some people may think that DID may seems very scary, it is as if the patient or client has been possessed. To be fair, it does feel like the patient is being possessed by something because they have split personalities or to be accurate, identities. Patients who suffer from DID could sometimes do things that they usually do not do. Some could even speak a foreign language which the host (the owner of the body) do not actually know. For example, Sybil in the film has many different identities and each of them is very different from one another. Sybil (the host) is actually a very timid, shy and introverted person. By the end of the film we could see that the reason for her to behave such way is probably because of her past abusive childhood. However, her alternative known as Victoria (Vicky) seems like a super confident woman - so much different than who Sybil usually is. This alternative, Vicky happens to be the one who does mostly everything that Sybil usually will not have the courage to do. Other than that, Sybil's other alternative known as Vanessa could play the piano. Sybil would always claim that she can no longer play the piano (probably was scarred by her abusive mother). However, Vanessa's presence shows that Sybil actually still knows how to play the piano but she has been repressing her talent all the time. 

There we go, I have said it. The word "repressed". 

Personally, other than wanting to believe that DID is actually real, I happen to like this mental disorder very much too. Not that I like what DID does to people but I really find DID very fascinating. It is not possession - the patient who suffers from DID is definitely not being possessed by something supernatural or etc. Their split personalities or identities are actually personalities or identities that the host is repressing! This is why most DID patients actually used to suffer from child abuse. Most the abused victims tend to repress their past memories or information that remind them of their past suffering. Just like Sybil, as a child, she used to be abused by her own mother. When her mother used to lock her in the green kitchen (kitchen which was painted in green), she would always want to break free by breaking the window. When she grew older, this part of the memories has been repressed by Sybil. By doing so, unconsciously, Sybil has created an alternative known as Peggy who is responsible for her dark childhood. Thus, in order to repressed this suffering, Sybil has let Peggy bears the abuse on her own. Whenever the situation triggers Sybil to think of her past abuse, she would want to escape and she would let Peggy 'come out' to bear the pain for her.

Similarly, Sybil has always loved music and she loves playing the piano. But because when she was younger, she was so scared that her mother was going to be angry, she stopped herself from doing things that she loved and which she found enjoyable such as playing music. But then, you can never unlearn something which you have learned. But because Sybil was scarred so badly and horribly, she created another alternative known as Vanessa who keeps her musical talent and the fun side of her. The same thing goes to Victoria. Sybil is always so scared, timid and has no confident with herself. In my opinion, I think that Sybil has created Vicky to look after herself. Unlike the other alternatives, Vicky wants to help Sybil and she listens well to Dr. Wilbur (Sybil's psychiatrist). 

Other than that, there are a few parts in the film which I think have really illustrated DID well. 

#1 Loss of memory -  the part where Sybil would be always looking at her watch. Most of the time, patients with DID would not know when their alternatives are going to take over. They would not even realize that it happen until they have 'woken up', Hence the only way to actually keep track is to keep checking the time. Similarly, at the beginning of the film when audiences have yet to know that it was DID, we could see that Sybil kept checking her watch whenever she zones out.

#2 Fear - It is quite sad to know that DID patients live in fear most of the time because they cannot seem to control when their alternatives would appear. In the film, Sybil once told Dr. Wilbur that she was really afraid because there was once when she woke up and found out that she was two years older.

#3 Denial - Most of the alternative identities in a DID patient like to deny that they are of the same person. They all like to claim that they are separate individuals. In the film, Vicky for example has always been telling Dr. Wilbur that she is not Sybil and the way she looks at herself in the mirror shows that she thinks that she is a different person. When Dr. Wilbur tried to test Vicky by asking her, "how come Peggy and Sybil both experience hurt in their throats if they are of different people?", Vicky avoided the question.

I like how the film illustrates Sybil and her alternative identities and personally I think that the film has done quite well. Compared to the other films related to DID which I have watched previously, this film is considered quite disturbing for me. The parts when Peggy comes out and when they revealed Sybil's past abuse, I felt really disturbed and stressed. But I do believe that the nature of the real patient with DID is indeed disturbing. Besides that, another interesting part of film which I really like was when Sybil was considered recovered and she would like to meet all her alternatives through hypnosis. I find it really fascinating that she had finally got the opportunity to meet them and to talk to them. Other than Peggy, I feel that most of her alternatives were created to protect her and it was really touching to watch Sybil finally meeting them. 

(Among all the other alternative identities of Sybil's, I like Victoria (Vicky) the most)